


Kissing Conundrums

by Snubberdoodle



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014), The LEGO Movie 2 (2019)
Genre: Good Ending AU, M/M, and they slowly fall in love or whatever, i just think they're cute ok, rex doesn't get thanosed and takes emmet's hand, they watch a movie together and... well you'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:59:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18093032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snubberdoodle/pseuds/Snubberdoodle
Summary: Sometimes you only know about romance in the context of Indiana Jones, which can make something like kissing difficult to explain.





	Kissing Conundrums

It had seemed like any other regular day. Rex had been having a normal, average, everyday conversation with Emmet, the kind that you have with a past version of yourself who was slowly but steadily reintegrating you into society, when the guy had mentioned something about snakes. While this minor detail might have slipped the untrained mind, Rex recognized it instantly as the perfect time to reference that staple of 80s pop culture: Indiana Jones. He had made a standard reference, one he was sure Emmet would understand, but when his grin was meet with a questioning squint he bypassed the first four stages of grief and jumped straight to acceptance.

“You haven’t seen Indiana Jones, have you?” His tone was a mix of that better-than-everyone know-it-all sound of one who had just made a totally sick reference to someone who didn’t understand it and disappointment. He wasn’t so much disappointed in Emmet (the man was trying his best after all) as he was disappointed in himself for not righting this terrible wrong. 

Emmet shook his head. “Not all the way through.” he said, “I saw a bit from the first one but it scared me so bad I haven’t gone back to them.” That was fair, Rex thought, so he nodded his head.

“That’s understandable I guess, but you have me now. I could quote those movies back to front; I can totally warn you when it’s about to get scary.” Emmet was still a little bit skeptical, a hint of nervousness in his reply of, “I don’t know…” but after Rex did the impossible (asked politely) and promised to make nachos, he agreed to the idea. 

“Sick!” Rex exclaimed, lifting himself up from the kitchen table and cracking his neck dramatically, “I’ll get started on the snacks, you go grab the movies from what’s left of my ship. They should be on the shelf by my TV.” With a smile and a peppy, “You got it!” Emmet was off, and operation Movie Night could finally begin.

<~>

Everything started off fine and normal, much like the day itself had. Emmet came back with the DVDs just as Rex was taking the nachos out of the microwave (Beef and jalapenos on his, nothing but cheese on Emmet’s). He settled down on the soft and cozy couch in front of the T.V. as Emmet popped in the first disk, handing him his plate of snacks as he came and sat down next to him. The Paramount logo came and went, fading into a mysterious and spooky jungle as the pair settled down for the long journey ahead of them. 

The first half of the movie passed with nothing more memorable happening than Emmet burying his face in a pillow a couple of times at Rex’s suggestion, but then there came a scene that seemed to perplex Rex’s couch companion. It was a scene in which Indy and his lady friend kissed each other (on the mouth, obviously) which was something that Rex was no stranger to. Not to brag, but he’d seen tons of movies with kissing and didn’t really think too much of it. Emmet, however, apparently wasn’t used to that kind of thing as the sight of the action on screen caused him to lower the cheese covered chip that had been on a steady cruise to his open mouth. He dropped his hand into his lap and asked,

“Why did he just do that?” At first, Rex wasn’t entirely sure what he was referring to. Surely something that simple wasn’t anything new and exciting to him (although now that he thought about it he wasn’t so sure).

“What, kiss her?” Best to make sure before he made himself look like a dufus.

“Yeah, that,” Emmet confirmed, turning his head towards Rex, clearly expecting him to be experienced in this field. Rex shifted slightly, trying very hard to compile his limited knowledge on the subject into something that was at all comprehensive. He wasn’t totally sure why people kissed each other, but Emmet didn’t need to know that.

“Well… he did it because he likes her, obviously.” That made sense, didn’t it? (of course it did, he always knew what he was talking about).

“Oh, right.” Emmet turned his attention back to the movie, eyes on the screen but clearly distracted as he slowly munched on the previously abandoned chip. He was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke up again, a note of worry in his voice. “Are you supposed to kiss the people you like?” Rex had no idea but squared his muscular shoulders nonetheless as he prepared to talk confidently about a subject he had very little knowledge of.

“Well yeah, how else is everyone supposed to know that you like them.” He ended this thought with the self-assured crunch of a beefy nacho chip. Nailed it.

“Really?” came Emmet’s nervous reply as he turned back to look at Rex, “Because I like Lucy a whole lot but I’ve never kissed her before. Do you think I should?” That just didn’t seem right. Sure they liked each other, but it was different than in the movies. They were close, he supposed, but not like that. Rex waved his hand dismissively.

“Nah, you’re not supposed to kiss friends, only girls you like.” That was how it seemed to him so he felt rather sure of that answer. But of course, Emmet simply scrunched up his face, more confused than ever.

“But Lucy is a girl that I like,” he said. Rex just snorted and shook his head. Would this guy ever understand?

“Not that kind of like, ding dong. You kiss girls that you like more than anyone else; pretty girls you save from danger or girls who act like they don’t want to kiss you but then end up kissing you first. You kiss the girls who like you the same way you like them.” There. A solid, comprehensive explanation of kissing that couldn’t possibly confuse anyone. It was all he could do to teach Emmet about the subject short of singing him a song about it (yuck) so hopefully it would work. Rex just wanted to get back to watching the movie and not have to worry about how kissing worked.

“Okay,” Emmet said slowly, much to his friend's content, as he appeared to start to begin to understand all of this. It was then that he asked a question that Rex had never considered before, a question that would shake him to his perfectly sculpted core: 

“So does it have to be a girl that you kiss?” Boom. He didn’t know it, but Emmet had just blown open the door to an entire universe of possibilities that, as far as Rex knew, had never been explored before. Does it have to be a girl? The words rattled around in his brain as Indy was lowered into some scary looking hole in the ground on screen. Does it have to be a girl? He thought long and hard about that one, replaying every movie kiss he’d ever seen, and once he came to his conclusion he realized that it made him oddly unhappy. 

“I… I think it does.”

“Oh.” He said it with the same amount of disappointment that Rex felt, which didn’t exactly make him feel better but did make him feel less alone. They both fell silent for a little while, watching the movie without really taking any of it in. Rex was still deep in thought about the possibility of kissing non-girls and whether or not he had said the right thing. Was this his first time being wrong? The thought deeply concerned him, so he grabbed another chip. It was after a few minutes of contemplative nacho eating that Emmet asked yet another question.

“Are you sure it has to be a girl? Would it be okay to kiss a boy if you liked him like that?” Rex didn’t answer at first, thinking long and hard about what he should say. He’d never seen it happen before, but that didn’t mean it wasn't possible, right? Nothing bad would happen if you did, right? He wasn’t entirely sure, but he’d be darned if he wasn’t going to act like it.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’d be fine. As long as you save him from danger I don’t think there’s much of a difference.” He hoped that him completely going back on his word hadn’t been noticed. Apparently, it hadn’t been because Emmet simply went quiet again before commenting,

“You saved me from danger.” It wasn’t very loud and far more matter-of-fact than it had any right to be. Unlike with all of his other statements so far, Emmet directed this one at the screen, keeping his head locked in the same spot and his eyes only flicking towards Rex for half a second. Rex blinked, unsure of what to say for a moment as he was well and truly caught off guard.

“I did, didn’t I.” He hadn’t even thought of that.

“Does that mean that you should kiss me?” Well that casual statement certainly hit Rex like a sack of bricks. He cleared his throat, face going slightly red as the possibility entered his mind. Should he? Could he, even? Would it work? Would something go wrong? What would it be like? Would he like it? Would Emmet like it? Was he a good kisser? Was he supposed to be? He spent longer tangled up in the hypotheticals then he meant to and had to mentally scramble to come up with a good answer in time.

“Well, I only get to kiss you if you like me more than anyone else in the whole world.” None of his internal worryings shone through his cool demeanor (naturally), which he was very grateful for. His heart continued to beat faster and faster as the possibility of kissing Emmet became more and more likely. Said possibility seemed to waver slightly as Emmet once again donned his thinking face and went silent. He stayed like this for an amount of time that would have severely scared Rex had he been a softer and less cool person. As it was, it only made him feel moderately insecure.

“Are you sure it has to be more than everyone else?” Emmet asked finally, turning to face Rex (whose throat was feeling very dry) and scooting just a little bit closer to him. “Because I know I like you differently than everyone else, but I don’t know about more.” He said this with a wide-eyed concern that instantly made Rex reevaluate his stance on this whole thing. 

“Yeah, that’s what I meant. Did I say more? because if I did I totally meant different.” He didn’t know what he meant anymore. None of this made any kind of sense to him, but Emmet didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to see the Rex who felt fluttery inside when he got too close or smiled at him. All he needed to see was the Rex who was answering his questions (the cool one) and if the cool Rex just so happened to think that it was a good idea to shuffle just a little bit closer to Emmet on the couch then that’s exactly what he was going to do.

“Well that’s a relief. I was worried I wasn’t going to, er, that is I was worried we couldn’t, um… you know.” Emmet stammered his way to a stop, looking away again with an awkward smile. He was blushing now, too, which calmed Rex’s nerves slightly (and started his heart beating at the speed of light). Neither of them knew what to do; they’d never been in this position before. This sure was different than in the movies, but Rex was never one to back down from an unusual situation. Just as Emmet was turning back to face the screen, Rex grabbed ahold of his shoulder, turning him back around. It was now or never.

“Emmet?” he asked in a voice low with the cadence of a child who was afraid of getting caught doing something they shouldn’t. Emmet scooted even closer so that their legs were touching and their faces were wildly (wonderfully) close. His eyes were filled with excitement, and perhaps just a touch of worry, as he responded,

“Yes, Rex?” Rex gulped, licking his lips on some sort of impulse. He felt sweaty.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” It was barely a whisper, which was probably the opposite of cool but he didn’t care. He’d made it this far in; no turning back now. Either the kiss worked or… it didn’t. There was only one way to find out. His heart jumped when Emmet nodded, leaning in with a murmured,

“Yes please.” Rex smiled his most action hero smile, put a hand on Emmet’s cheek (like how he’d seen in the movies), and put his lips on his. That was all it was, really. Just a couple seconds with their mouths pressed together holding their collective breath until Rex leaned back out of it with a soft pop, opening eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed. They’d done it. He had kissed Emmet and nothing bad had happened. They were both still sitting there looking at each other with stars in their eyes. Maybe, Rex thought, just maybe, some things didn’t happen the way they did on TV. Emmet was the first to break the silence, beaming as he did so.

“Wow… that was awesome!” He was clearly over the moon about this whole event, so Rex just snorted. Cool guys like him kissed people all the time, so he had to do his best to act like this hadn’t just changed his whole world view.

“It wasn’t too bad,” he said far more confidently than he felt as he stretched his arms casually above his head, “Although we I mean you could use some practice.” Lucky for him, Emmet didn’t quite catch his slip up, or if he did he didn’t quite grasp what it meant in the grander context of things. Either way, Rex’s secret was safe and he was hoping to score a whole boatload of kisses. Emmet tilted his head to the side just a tad as a quizzical look came over his face.

“You think so?” he questioned, clearly believing that he was asking a professional (which he totally was).

“Absolutely,” Rex said, grinning as he leaned in once again. “And I’m the perfect target.”

**Author's Note:**

> I truly have nothing to add to this. Sorry to anyone who likes my DC stuff, uh, like and subscribe. Leave me comments please they make me feel better.


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